can u get pink eye on your cock?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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