I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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