tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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