You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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