is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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