hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the day after is always just damage control
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
