its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
