She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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