He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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