I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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