I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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