i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
