Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
