there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
