Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i will never coherently bang her
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
