Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
