ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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