i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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