Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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