Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
