if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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