I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
