so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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