sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
