how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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