You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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