eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
