Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
