I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
