You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
