Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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