I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
