You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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