Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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