If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
