Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
