you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
