I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
