He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
