We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
