Where did you get a picture of my penis
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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