so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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