you guys were way drunker than both of me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
