she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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