You work out of a Hotel?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
