she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
