just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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