Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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