He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
