That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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